1. Turn on Copy Machine
2. Press key: "Select Number of Copies" on the Copy Function Keypad
3. Press key: "∞" on the numeric keypad for infinite copies
4. Select "Semiconscious Propagation and Rabid Expansion of Aggressive Duplication (SPREAD) Format" on the soft keypad
5. Check a box from the "SPREAD Format Selection" Choice Window as follows:
(a) SELF Format: In USA type of hyper-capitalist locale, just SPREAD your personal ego, individual social identity, and physical facial image, über alles.
(b) SYMBOL Format: In other locales, SPREAD the Symbol of your group or other Collective Ego. Could be hammer and sickle, Nazi swastika, Muslim crescent, Christian cross, or your national flag.
(c) SEED Format: If you are unsure of your personal status, or lack any hyper-individualist self-concept and/or any collective hive-mind ideology, default to the bare-metal genetic baseline: SPREAD your seed (have human kids to perpetuate the madness and folly forever).
6. Press "Start" on the copier Control Panel
7. Get some coffee while the entire universe of energy and matter is converted to copies per your control panel specifications.
NOTE: Be sure to inspect Output Tray. If any SPREAD output from a previous user is found, clear it from the Output Tray and feed it all through the shredder before commencing your own job.
CAUTION: If machine emits smoke and/or flames during operation, contact Customer Care at: 1-800-MAL-THUS.
